fired and rehired x2 and a day off

Bella and I had this conversation the other morning.
Bella: Mom where's my favorite pants? (we have this conversation on a frequent basis)
Me: I don't know. Probably in the laundry (did I mention she wears these pants every other day) or in the stack of clean laundry I need to put away.
Bella: If I can't find my pants, you are fired.
Me: Oh good. Then you can start with getting your own breakfast this morning. Don't forget to pack your lunch for school. And I guess you'll have to walk to school this morning.
Bella: All right, I won't fire you today but when I'm a mom and you have grandkids then I'll fire you.
Me: Ok. That means I won't have to do all the things your grandma does for you. Things like cook for you, watch you after school, help with the laundry, make snacks, and let you spend the night with her.
Bella: All right, I won't fire you but I'll have one day where you can't see your grandkids at all.
Me: Ok honey. Now go get ready for school.
(But I'm thinking to myself, did she just give me the day off? Does this mean in about 20 years (give or take) I'll have earned a day off!!!! And all because of a pair of pants I might or might not have washed...)

cake face

one year old

She's 1!! We've heard lots of comments like "it sure has gone by fast." Well sure it has when you start in the middle. It seems like we just brought her home a few months ago, but wait, we did just bring her home a few months ago. I have some surprising feelings about this day. In the beginning when we knew there would be a good chance we'd not know our baby's true birth date, I said that wouldn't matter to me. And that's true, for the most part. But there is a part of me that wonders. All month I've thought about it and wondered "Is today really her birthday?" In the great scheme of things it doesn't matter but I find myself on Bella and Parker's birthdays remembering what I was doing on the day they were born. I think about their first moments and what I was thinking when I first saw them. So of course I wonder about Eden too. What was the first thing she saw? Where was she? And that leads to thoughts about her parents. I wonder where they are today. I wonder what their first thoughts were when they saw her? I realize wondering will get me nowhere as there are not answers for my questions. But it does give me pause and a moment to reflect on what I would tell Eden's momma if I could see her today.

I'd tell her how amazing her baby girl is. How she has adapted to our family so perfectly. I'd tell her how she was shy when she came home and didn't always let us know what she needed. But that has all changed, she has a scream that could wake the deaf. She likes to babble and her newest word is "Uh-oh." She yells at Bella and Parker when they push her around too much, she's not afraid to stand up for her rights. Even though they are bossy there isn't anything her brother and sister wouldn't do for her. Bella even learned to change diapers. Parker loves to make her laugh. She loves to crawl and she's pretty fast too. She has a fierce desire to get up on her legs and walk. She hates to have her hair done but she looks so cute with 2 little pony tails. I love how her soft curls wind around my finger. Her favorite toy is her daddy who she yells at until he gives her the attention she craves. My favorite thing is when she puts her head on my shoulder when she's shy or tired. So I would tell Eden's momma that her unselfish sacrifice has been our greatest blessing!

a few pictures

"Is he touching my head? Cause I'm gonna drool on him."-Eden

"Keeping this kid out of trouble is exhausting."-Parker

Another pretty face.

New short haircut. It took a couple years to convince her to try it and now I've been notified that it isn't short enough :)

"Let me pinch your cheek, cowboy."

and she's off....

Off and crawling that is. As of Sunday she is mobile. Yes, I know, life as we know it is officially over. This stage of babyhood is always so interesting to me. As much as I want her to learn new things and develop herself there is also a part of me that wants her to just sit there forever. I know for her that isn't good quality of life and she has been pretty clear about that the last couple of weeks. She would get so fustrated watching people pass her by. They get to her daddy quicker, they can go get a hug or comforting touch anytime, and they get to all the coolest toys first. And all because they are mobile. She knew she was close. She had figured out how to get in position but just couldn't make those legs and arms work together. So she did the only thing she could do about it, vocalize her fustration in screams and cries and general grouchiness. But now, watch out people, here she comes. She has such a pleased expression on her face and a smile of satisfaction when she gets where she wants to go all by herself. And so yes, I am happy for her and excited in her new skills. But once again, one of my babies is learning how to walk away from their dependence on us. It seems from the moment they are born they start that journey. I once heard a quote that having a child is like having your heart walk around outside your body. So true, but I would add that as my kids grow older they find new ways to walk farther away with my heart. Of course they come back for the safety of mom from time to time but more and more they rely on their own strengths and abilities. I know there's still lots of time before they are adults so I'll try not to worry too much right now. I'll enjoy this moment and all the joy it brings my daughter and maybe I'll just get down on the floor with her and we can crawl together :)

torticollis

Last week we went to Children's Hospital in Denver to their International Adoption Clinic. I have been waiting since we got home for this appointment. They do a complete exam of any child adopted internationally. The exam includes, PT, OT, a Developmental Screening, and a Medical exam. And not only that but one of our super cool neighbors works there. All along we have thought Eden has been making progress and except for a few things she is about where she should be developmentally. Our appointment was about 2 hours long by the time we got out of there but they were so thorough and helpful. And the results are in...developmentally she is right on track for a 10 month old (this also helps affirm that they were pretty close with her birthdate) and medically she is also very healthy. But her physical development is lagging a little. They were encouraged to hear about the progress she's made since coming home. She is now sitting on her own like a pro and loves to stand supported. She should be crawling and is pretty close. The other really interesting they found is that she has mild torticollis. I had suspected this while we were in Ethiopia, in fact, I told Duane on the first day that we would probably need some physical therapy. She had a flat spot on the back of her head more on one side than the other. It was bad enough that her face was asymetrical. But when I took her to our family doc they said it wasn't anything to worry about and to just make sure she wasn't laying on that side all the time. Over the last few months it has significantly improved to the point it isn't very noticable, to the untrained eye. But the PT picked up on it at her exam and also pointed out that she has more range of motion with her neck on one side and she prefers to get onto her belly from one side. Torticollis has many causes but it basically means that some of her neck muscles are tighter than others so they won't allow her to have full range of motion in her neck. I've seen a couple babies in the clinic with it and it is usually correctable with physical therapy. For Eden, she could have been born with it or it could have developed from laying in the same position in the transitional home or a host of other causes we will not be able to pinpoint. So she'll start some PT next week. Fortunately it isn't severe so with a little work we can get her back on track. But the lesson for the day is to, "Always trust a momma's instinct."

blessed

Bella is styling Eden's new onsie. We have been blessed with amazing friends and family. This shirt says it all. This is a post of gratitude to all of you who have helped us welcome our sweet Eden this summer. You are all so generous in with your love and open arms for our family. This last weekend we had a special party for Eden with our church family. We felt so loved and most of all blessed to be part of a community. We weren't meant to journey alone and over the last few years we are learning what it means to be in community. That story is a whole other post and today I just want to be grateful. So thanks to all of you who patiently waited with us over the last few years, those who gave generously to help us bring her home, those who prayed over us, those with just the right words at the right times, the party planners, you have all blessed our lives and we hope that you are as blessed by Eden in your life as we are.

I have a thing about sunsets. I love them. I've always liked slowing down whatever I'm doing to watch them. In college, I'd take a break from studying and go for a drive in the rolling Virginia hills to find a good place to watch the sunset. Duane and I got engaged watching the sunset. And if you've noticed my house sits in a perfect position to enjoy the Colorado sunsets. For some reason that is my favorite time of day. Usually that time of day is really busy for me. In the winter its usually around supper time and supper preparation has it's own chaos, cranky kids and cooking don't usually go well together. In summer it's usually after supper but the day is winding down. Maybe we've gone for a bike ride or looked in the garden for something to do. But it's the time of day that as a family we draw close to home. We sit down for a meal or get ready for bed but the activity for the day slows down. It's our time to reconnect. Sunsets seem to me like a special blessing on our day, a reminder that today was good. It symbolizes peace and warmth, like the world is getting tucked in for the night. And it's universal, no matter who you, where you are, or what you've done the sun sets for all of us the same. It's a little bit of grace in this crazy world. My kids are learning to love sunsets too. Sometimes they'll stop their activity and one of them will say, "look at that." And then for the next 10 minutes we stop our chatter and watch together. We live in the moment for the next few minutes, knowing that there isn't any other place we need to be or any other thing we should be doing. We are just together, present with each other. I love these moments and wish I could bottle them up for that rainy day when I have a hard time feeling grace. With all that can go wrong in our day, maybe that's why we need this (almost) daily reminder of beauty.

pictures/summer fun

New hat and mommy's baby dress.

Mud lake. You can't tell in the picture but Parker's pants are SOAKED.

Cousins. Wish we lived closer.

Love.

9 months

Eden is 9 months now as of last Friday. Here are a couple highlights at this milestone.

• She loves tummy time and can push up her legs for a split second. She does this funny snake belly where she gets the back half of her belly up in the air. Crawling is in our future.
• Screaming is an effective way to get attention around here. It started a few weeks ago when Duane would get home and she would patiently wait her turn. She quickly learned that just screaming got his attention much quicker.
• Teething....She now has 2 teeth to show off. Teething biscuits are good for at least 20 minutes of entertainment these days.
• Playing with toys that do something. She's moved beyond rattles for now and likes toys that have cause and effect. If she can put something in it, or pull it, or make noise with it, it's all good.
• Standing up. When we try to sit her down she straightens her legs and refuses to sit down. "Just let me stand, people."
• Frustration. One of the cutest thing at the moment (although I'm sure Eden isn't trying to be cute) is her frustrated face. She stiffens her arms, balls up her fists, and grits her teeth while she grunts at us. On a regular basis when we take a toy away, change her diaper, feed her something undesirable we get this face. It's too cute not to laugh but we try not to. I will try to post a pic of this soon.

transplant

Parker has a stuffed rabbit that he has loved on since he was less than a year old. I think we are on version 3. (I bought 2 extra when I figured out how important they were going to be). "Rabbie" is his name and he is Parker's best friend. Parker loves to rub the silky tag between his fingers when he's trying to fall asleep. Rabbie was bright green a few years ago but he has now faded to a grayish, greenish, brownish color and no amount of frequent washings seem to help. His stuffing has all settled into one location so he's mostly fabric now. Well, yesterday morning Parker brought to pieces of gray fabric to me, I thought it was trash at first but it was Rabbie's tags. They had finally fallen off. He was heartbroken and wanted them glued back on. My mom was there (she is a master seamstress) and she agreed that it looked like these tags had bit the dust for sure. But then she had the brilliant idea of finding a different animal with a similar silky tag (in case you haven't examined stuffed animal tags, they are not all the same). So we searched through Parker's room and found one. It took awhile as I discovered that there were a couple other animals that had shredded tags from extra loving. Grandma took that tag off and put it on Rabbie. So now Rabbie has a bright new tag on his little bottom. And so far his new transplant shows no signs of rejection. The surgical site is secure and clean. Parker cuddled with him on the couch last night and all is well. But I do think it is time to read the Velveteen Rabbit again.

living in the present

One of my co-workers passed away this week in a terrible motorcycle accident. She was much too young and vibrant. She was on her way to lunch with her husband. Her passion for our work at Clinica and her family impressed me. It makes me stop and think about life again. It's a lesson I have learned and relearned many times but it's the reality of this life, how short and how fragile it is. It reminds me to live in the moment, to seize the day, and feel fully whatever it is that today brings.


So today, I took my son to the pool. We swam and laughed, I ignored how cold I was when we had to get back out to climb the stairs to the slide for the 20th time. I went down the big slide by myself and felt the water rush around me. I stopped to listen to the sounds of children splashing in the pool. I let Parker be in charge of what we did next. It was fun to live in his world for a few hours.


I held Eden until she fell asleep and then a little longer, ignoring the toys that needed picking up. I am so glad we didn't wait to adopt. That we didn't wait until we were wealthier, had more time on our hands, or until the kids were older. She is here now and when I feel the weight of her in my arms I am reminded of how empty they were before.


Bella went to the pool with a friend today and when she got home I laid on the floor with her and watched Eden play and asked to hear all about her day.

I listened to Duane play with the kids and felt incredibly grateful for their laughter. I enjoyed the afternoon rain shower and the sunset after that. I let today be enough. I put off the worry about my future, the regrets from my past and let the fullness of today be sufficient. I am blessed beyond measure by this moment, each of them.

learning

In some ways it's really different parenting little Eden. In most ways it's the same as my other kids but there are a few things that we do differently that remind me that her life circumstances have been very different.

We noticed early on that she doesn't cry much. This is great in many ways but then we realize it is also easy to overlook her needs if we aren't paying attention. With my first baby I was surprised at how much babies cry...I hadn't realized it was so often but with Eden I am often surprised when she doesn't cry. Don't get me wrong, she does cry and has let us know on occasion when she's ticked off but it's just infrequent. When she's hungry or needs a diaper change she'll start fussing at us but it isn't really a cry until she's really uncomfortable. One thing I've noticed is that when she's overwhelmed or overstimulated she doesn't really let us know. We have to pay attention for her subtle clues. Often it's the way she looks away and won't engage with a new person that let's me know she's ready for mom or dad to show up. She does great with new people and doesn't seem to mind being passed around and always wants to smile at them and try to engage but after awhile she's all done. I've also noticed her gross motor movements increase when she's overstimulated. When I pick her up she seems to settle down. It's these little things that remind me that she hasn't had the opportunity to have parents at her disposal. Even with a nanny ratio of 6:1 she still had to wait her turn and probably didn't learn that she could cry and get what she needed. So we try to pay attention and hope that we can teach her that we'll respond to her needs as soon as possible. We hold her more and help her settle herself in our arms rather than by herself. Little by little we're learning together.

best friends

Best friends. It must run in the family but from the very first day Eden has wanted a lovey and her thumb to fall asleep, just like Parker. I took this toy to Ethiopia intending to give it to the orphanage but the first night she held him to fall asleep and I knew I'd never be able to give him away. He's just a green stuffed dog but just like Parker with his "Rabbie" (who also happens to be green) she likes to stroke his soft ears. And also like her big brother she sucks her thumb. Just as we suspected, it's a family trait.

link to our pictures

http://photos2.walmart.com/walmart/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=3609791004/a=3390549_3390549/otsc=SHR/otsi=SALBlink/COBRAND_NAME=walmart/

This is a link to some of our pictures from Ethiopia. Enjoy!

progress

We are constantly amazed at our little girl. She is growing and changing already. When we picked her up she wasn't able to sit up unsupported. I also noticed she didn't really want to stand. I would put her in a standing position but her legs were like spaghetti. I'd pull her arms up but she wouldn't stiffen them to pull herself up. So we figured she was a little behind but we didn't worry too much about it. We could tell that the transition home had given them lots of tummy time but probably didn't have as much time to work one on one with the babies. By the time we left on Saturday we noticed she would occasionally make her legs stiff when she was in a standing position but she still couldn't straighten her back. She was also sitting better with support. Well, after being home a week she is sitting all by herself and loves to pull herself up into a standing position. She's also learned to make kisses. This is her newest skill, about 24 hours ago she first did this for Grandma, who is very proud of this fact. She is constantly studying our faces and finds them much more interesting than toys. We are so blessed!

names names names

Ok, well for those of you who read yesterdays post early in the afternoon, REWIND. Yep, we changed her name again...I am usually not that indecisive. But hopefully this is our final version. Eden (an Ethiopian name meaning paradise), Kayin (means long awaited child and my middle name is Kay), Netsanet (Ethiopian name meaning freedom, this name signifies the first 6 months of her life), Harrison. So here it is Eden Kayin Netsanet Harrison. We might just use Kayin for awhile. The kids got really comfortable calling her that while we were procrastinating on the rest of her name and it seems to work for her.

home

Well, we are finally home...We had the opportunity a couple times to check email in Ethiopia but I needed to unplug for awhile so I haven't had a chance to post in awhile. The break was welcome but now I will start posting our update.

Our trip was amazing. It was great to interact with our daughter's culture and get to know more about it. We saw things we will never be able to forget and emotions on both extremes so it's hard to put into a blog post all that happened. But here are the highlights and some pictures.

We arrived Monday evening so we met her on Tuesday morning. I was nervous before we met her and fidgety but when the nanny brought her in it felt so natural. I thought for sure I'd go into that ugly cry but I didn't. I'm sure it helped that we got a smile from her first thing. And it was a big smile too. It was as if she had known us all along. In fact the whole first 24 hours was mostly smiles. She even gave Duane her first coo a few hours later. He is very proud of that fact. BTW, it may come as a surprise to some of you but Duane is a natural with babies. He held her as much as I did in the beginning and within a day you could tell that she recognized that he was the guy to play with. She would scream at him and watch his face for a response. They are too cute together.

The other thing that helped was that I think the emotions of this are coming on slowly. At first I was distracted with checking her out and getting to know her, "counting all her 10 toes." During the day we were busy with other families and activities but I often found myself waking up in the middle of the night and processing what was going on during the day.

As well as our visa appointment we had time to do some cultural activities while we were there as well. Ethiopia is an amazing culture. It boasts some of the oldest artifacts in the world, they have a history they can trace back to the 3rd and 4th century. They are very proud of their roots with the beginnings of Christianity, Judiasm, and Islam. The food of course was amazing. The people are very kind and generous, we were well taken care of at our guest house.

Here are some pictures of my lovely assistants. I know Parker looks bored out of his mind but they literally fight about whose turn it is to hold her, feed her, etc... And since babies love other kids it has worked out well for both parties so far. She eats up their attention.

almost there

I had the neatest experience this evening. As I'm running around getting kids in the bath I glanced out our bedroom window and saw a butterfly. It was the prettiest yellow color with black trim, almost like the one in this picture. It made me stop in my tracks and watch it for a moment. It was a little breezy outside so I watched it try to fly against the wind, trying to get to a tree branch. Finally after about a minute it reached a branch and I stopped watching. But it left me with a lingering feeling of contentment. I'm not sure if there is another meaning I'm supposed to be searching for but I'm satisified with this, the promise of contentment. There are times in life I don't value contentment. I feel if I'm content than I must not be growing and I'm not challenged. But then there are times in this journey that life feels so chaotic and busy that a little contentment is my highest hope. This would be one of those times, when life has felt a little nuts. So here's the latest...

We had more drama last week but I won't review all the details. Basically the local USCIS agency made a little mistake that has caused me a great deal of stress :) BUT the good news is that it has all been resolved and we are set to travel on Sunday. In some ways I can't believe we are so close. After waiting for something for so long and putting so many hours of time and into all the requirements, to finally be here, ready to travel, is a little unbelievable.

But before we get there, Bella has her dance recital this weekend too. She's in a ballet class that she loves. I always wished I had dance lessons when I was little and it's so fun to see your child excell in something. I can see the core body strength and poise that practicing has given her. I am so proud and can't wait to see the production.

dear sir/madam

Well, here we are about 12 days from our proposed travel date. We are still awaiting final approval to travel. Let's just say I have not found the National Visa Center very helpful. For the last 4 weeks I've been communicating with them on a weekly basis asking them to recable our visa to the Embassy in Et. I call them the "Dear Sir/Madam People" because every communication from them whether automatic or not starts with this phrase. At this point I should be on a first name basis with them and the "dear sir/madam" crap is wearing thin. So last week I lost my patience and called our senators and congressman's offices. Senators Udall and Bennet, and Congressman Polis, you have my vote next election! Our cable was sent again last week! Now one final step, next week our agency will check with the embassy to verify that they recieved the cable and then we'll be approved. Then I can book plane tickets, confirm lodging, and pack. We're almost there...

waiting

We are in a holding pattern at the moment. It seems like most of this process has been marked by periods of waiting. Waiting for paperwork to return to us from state agencies, waiting for it to all be processed, waiting for USCIS approval, waiting for a referral, waiting for a court date, you get the general idea. Currently we are waiting for the embassy in Ethiopia to give us the approval to travel. We have a target date of 6/7. I feel pretty confident this is accurate although we haven't reserved plane tickets or finalized lodging. So hopefully in less than 5 weeks we will meet her for the first time and finally get the question of her name settled.

We get questions about her name and I still don't know for sure how to answer. The most accurate thing to say is, "Duane wants to wait to see her and then pick from a list I started." (Did you catch that, "wait." Yes, something else I'm waiting for. Sheesh, it's hard to be patient!) We've been using the name Kayin which will definately be part of her name but she'll probably get another first name as well.

But there are entertaining moments too, like talking to a 4 year old about having a new baby. "Mommy, will she poop?" "I'll change her diaper." "Mommy, I'll feed her, like this." (demonstrating with a spoon, complete with funny faces) "Mommy I can't wait until she gets here!!" (my thoughts exactly)

we passed

Here she is and you and assume that you are seeing this picture because we passed court yesterday!! Yep, it's true. She is now officially part of our family! Now we just need to wait on the embassy to process paperwork so we can travel.

Dear Kayin,
As of yesterday you officially became part of our family although we've felt your presense much longer than that. You have been in our thoughts, prayers and dreams for a long time. But our wait won't be much longer now, we are coming soon. When I look at your picture I think about your big serious eyes. What has the world taught you so far? What have you known for sure in your short life? You seem to demand a response from the world. So what is it that I would want you to know? I would tell you that a parent's love knows no boundaries, not race, not nationality, not distance. A mother's love would cross oceans, make sacrifices, and nothing would keep her from finding her children. So rest well my baby, know that you are loved.
Momma

good news

Good news this week. Our Ethiopian court date is next week, April 8. We don't travel to Et for this but our in-country representative goes on our behalf. This is when the adoption will be finalized in Et. We still have to come back and readopt in the states but hopefully after April 8 she will be our daughter. Our daughter...I can't believe it! Of course there are many things that could go wrong and delay court for a few days but we are praying it all goes smoothly. And for those of you who remember me freaking out a few weeks ago about 2 trips, this definately means we only have to make 1 trip. This is a big weight off our shoulders and I am so grateful!

This quote was in one of our recent updates from our agency. I loved it. Now that one of our big dreams is coming true it makes me think about what lies ahead. What will be our next big dream and can we be brave enough to have really big dreams.

"Disturb us Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves, when our dreams have come true because we have dreamed too little, when we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us Lord, to dare more boldly to venture on wider seas where storms will show your mastery; where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars. We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes; and to push in the future in strength, courage, hope and love. Sir Francis Drake"

adoption questions

A friend at work asked me some interesting questions that I hadn't thought about for awhile. I kept playing out the answers in my head so it seems they need to come out somehow.

Was it expensive? I will answer that with another question, "What is the price for a life?" Yes, we've made sacrifices to make this happen but in the greater picture it was nothing. Really. I believe we'll be held accountable someday for the decisions we've made with our resources and this is one I don't think I'll have to explain.

Aren't you concerned about having 2 white children and one that is darker? We've spent many hours talking about this. In the beginning of our process we talked about it alot, questioned our ability to raise this family well, and strategized about all the possibilities. In the perfect world we wouldn't have to answer this question, there would be a mommy and a daddy for every child that would look just like them. But the reality is that there are 3 million orphans in Ethiopia alone, that's just one country. 3 million bedtime stories that won't be read tonight, 3 million skinned knees that need a kiss, 3 million little heads looking for a shoulder to lean on.

I know I can't save them all but it makes a differenct to this one. So we'll do the best we can and be intentional about race and culture. We hope that this is an opportunity for our family to see the world as a bigger place. We do not want our family to be mono-cultural. We want our American kids to accept Ethiopia as part of their identity just like we want our Ethiopian child to see herself as American. We realize this won't be an easy task and I'm sure there will be moments where we fail miserably but maybe with a little grace we'll all come out ok.

P.S. I know big numbers like 3 million are hard to grasp so I did a little comparision. My town, Lafayette has a population of approximately 25,000, Boulder County's population is about 293,000, the state of Colorado's population is 4,750,000.

Why not adopt a child from the US? Great question. We also talked a little about this but honestly it never felt like the right option. There is a waiting list to adopt healthy children in the US and we didn't want to be part of the foster care program. You could argue that these are excuses and not reasons and that might be partly right. All I know for sure is that it wasn't the right decision for us.

small steps

You all know it wouldn't be me without a post about our HealthCare bill. I know there are 2 opposing sides to this issue and my intent is not to create more controversy but you know that I work with the underserved. Many of my patients benefit from Medicaid or Medicare. I do support this bill even though I don't think it goes far enough. It is a small step but better a small step than no step. The following was taken from an email sent by our CEO.

Talking Points: Americans Will See Immediate Benefits As a Result of Health Reform

· The legislation passed last night [March 21, 2010 US House of Representatives] is a victory for American families, for seniors, for workers and small businesses – for Americans who deserve the security of knowing that in this country, neither illness nor accident should endanger the American dream.

· The legislation passed last night brings down health care costs for American families and small businesses, expands coverage to millions of Americans and ends the worst practices of insurance companies. And it begins to do so this year.

· As a result of this bill, Americans will begin to see significant benefits take effect this year, with other important reforms following shortly after.

This bill will immediately begin to lower health care costs for American families and small businesses.

o In 2010, small businesses that choose to offer coverage will begin to receive tax credits of up to 35 percent of premiums to help make employee coverage more affordable.

o In 2010, adults who are uninsured because of pre-existing conditions will have access to affordable insurance through a temporary high-risk pool.

o This bill starts to close the Medicare Part D donut hole in 2010 by providing a $250 rebate to Medicare beneficiaries who hit the gap in prescription drug coverage. And beginning in 2011, the bill institutes a 50% discount on prescription drugs in the donut hole.

o Starting this year, new private plans will be required to provide free preventive care: no co-payments and no deductibles for preventive services. And beginning January 1, 2011, Medicare will do the same.

o In 2010, this bill will provide help for early retirees by creating a temporary re-insurance program to help offset the costs of expensive premiums for employers and retirees age 55-64.

Under health reform, Americans will see an immediate expansion of coverage.

o This year, children with pre-existing conditions can no longer be denied health insurance coverage. The bill outlaws that practice for new health plans as well as grandfathered group plans. Moving forward, no insurance company can deny a child coverage based on his or her health.

o This year, new health care plans and select grandfathered plans will allow young people to remain on their parents’ insurance policy up until their 26th birthday.

o This year, insurance companies will be banned from dropping people from coverage when they get sick, and they will be banned from implementing lifetime caps on coverage. This year, restrictive annual limits on coverage will be banned for new plans and grandfathered group health plans. Under health reform, Americans will be ensured access to the care they need.

o The bill increases funding for community health centers so that nearly double the number of patients can be treated in their community health centers over the next 5 years. The funding begins in the next fiscal year.

o The health reform bill will increase the number of primary care doctors, nurses, nurse practitioners and physician assistants through new investments. This funding takes effect in the next fiscal year.

Health reform will immediately curb some of the worst insurance industry practices and strengthen consumer protections.

o Beginning this year, this bill creates a new, independent appeals process that ensures consumers in new private plans have access to an effective process to appeal decisions made by their insurer.

o Starting January 1, 2011, insurers in the individual and small group market will be required to spend 80 percent of their premium dollars on medical services. Insurers in the large group market will be required to spend 85 percent of their premium dollars on medical services. Any insurers who don’t meet those thresholds will be required to provide rebates to their policyholders.

o This year, discrimination based on salary will be outlawed. New group health plans will be prohibited from establishing any eligibility rules for health care coverage that discriminate in favor of higher-wage employees.

o This bill holds insurance companies accountable for unreasonable rate hikes. Starting in 2011, it helps states require insurance companies to submit justification for all requested premium increases. Any company with excessive or unjustified premium increases may not be able to participate in the new health insurance exchanges.

o Beginning this fiscal year, this bill provides funding to states to help establish offices of health insurance consumer assistance in order to help individuals in the process of filing complaints or appeals against insurance companies.
Source: Phil Kalin, CIVHC ED, written by Joan Hennenberry

a little hope

After being told the week before that we would definately travel 2 times to Ethiopia, we were told this week that it is "highly likely" that families who already have a referral will only travel once. I had to read the email twice to make sure I was getting it. I was totally shocked. So now we feel like our rollercoaster ride has arrived at the top again and we aren't sure how long we'll be up there or if the next part is a quick descent again. And either way there is no way to anticipate the next move. So stay tuned...

We recieved a few pictures this week from another family that traveled to Ethiopia last week to pick up their children and I was so excited to see a picture of her sucking her thumb. I thought Parker would really be able to make a connection with her so I showed him the picture and said, "She sucks her thumb just like you do." To which he responded, "Mommy, I think I see a bugger in her nose." The point was lost on him but it did bring me a smile.

In other news, I my baby is 7 years old now. I can't believe it except that every time I stand next to her I feel shorter and shorter. She is growing and changing every day. Some days I still feel like the mamma providing for her every need and other days I'm reminded of the indepentent person she is growing into. I am so blessed by her.

Not part of the plan

We have been on a rollercoaster for the last 24 hours and I'm ready to get off so maybe now is a good time to post an update. Prior to now I don't think I could have done it coherently.

We learned 2 days ago that the Ethiopia program for all adoptions going forward is a 2 trip process. This changed because parents were going to Ethiopia to pick up their children after the court had finalized the adoption and then decided not to take their children home. Of course this is devasting for the children and I cannot imagine the headache it creates for the government as well. So they have decided that all parents will have to travel to meet their child first and give their consent to adopt and then go home and wait for the court to hear the adoption case weeks later.

This is not what we had planned and in fact is part of the reason we chose Ethiopia to begin with. There are many countries that require this already but I didn't think I could do that. I don't think I can hold my child, smell their sweet head, feed them and then give them back to someone to take care of for me. So emtionally I am a wreck. I have always believed that our adoption was part of God's plan for our lives and I still believe that but right now I don't know what He's tinking. Seriously! I know the Bible says He will not give us more than we can handle but I'm pretty sure he has overestimated my ability to do this. I'm pretty angry right now...The other big issue is the finances. We have carefully budgeted for this and 2 trips isn't part of that. It will easily cost us another $3000 for this trip. So even though I would like to give God the silent treatment right now, I can't because I need to talk to Him about our finances, if this is part of His plan I have no other choice than to let Him figure out this piece as well.

But I must say that I have been blessed these last few days. I do not want to forget to be thankful for the many friends who have supported us. All of your love, support, shoulders to cry on, and encouraging words have been overwhelming for me. Sometime soon, when I'm through being mad, I think I'll realize that this was God's love reaching out to us too.

Welcome

Here it is, the Harrison family blog. Now our adventures will be documented, electron style. I like to journal and let's face it, it is much faster to type. There are so many of you who have shared in our adoption journey so far and this is just one more way for us to include you in that.

Why "blueberries and chocolate chips"? When Bella was a baby one of my cousins called her "blueberry eyes." I thought that was the sweetest thing and then a few weeks ago when we got baby Kayin's picture, one of the first things that struck me were her big dark eyes. So blueberries and chocolate chips it is. And here's a shout out to John for the inspiration!

Which brings us to our latest adventure. It seems we started this process so long ago. For me the journey started about 25 years ago (someday I'll share that story) but the short version begins after Parker was born. I started looking for agencies and thinking and praying about which country to adopt from. Then about 6 months of paperwork. I have never notorized so many documents. The notory gets her stamp out now when she sees us coming. Then 14 long months of waiting and then...on Feb 22 we recieved the call. I was working and literally couldn't speak coherently to the social worker (I know that's hard for some of you to believe). I knew why she was calling and I got all choked up. But that's been about the last time I have cried, since then I've not been able to stop smiling when we talk about the baby. For now we're calling her Kayin. Kayin means "long awaited child."

In many ways this winter has seemed to drag on and I'm not sure it was all weather, although I am tired of snow and clouds and rain. It feels like we are about to emerge from a long winter of the soul too. A long winter of waiting, waiting for the sun to come out, waiting for change, waiting for this new member of our family...And then just about the time I thought I couldn't wait anymore, we got the call, and we had some warm days. So maybe it will end, I'm still not sure if we are there yet but I have hope now.